Greetings again from the server room! My, it's hot down here.
I'm delighted to see we have so many new additions to the system, and I'd like to welcome you all! I trust you haven't had any problems setting things up; I tried to make everything as intuitive as I can. Of course, I must always be prepared for the possibility that what's intuitive to me is as comprehensible as Swahili to others (certain prominent staff exceptions duly noted). Still, if there are any problems, keep in mind that I can't help you if I don't know about them.
However, with so many new additions, I feel this is an excellent time to repeat a few of my concerns regarding user-end security of the system -- particularly because I've been spending of late my days and nights up to my nose and toes in code and wire, making triple-certain on all ends that nothing was comprimised. In the end, I've concluded that they were not out to attack the system, but in case something like this ever happens again (God forbid that it ever should), I'd like you all to take these few precautions regarding password integrity.
Your password should be eight characters long or longer, should have a combination of numbers and letters, and should preferably not be based on a dictionary word. Foreign words and short phrases, names from non-Classical mythology, and easy to remember made-up words are all excellent choices. I will be running password-cracking software at regular intervals. Anyone whose password is found to be vulnerable will automatically be locked out of his or her account, and will have to come to me to explain why these instructions were so difficult to follow. (Yana, sweetheart, ask Piotr or me for help, all right?)
This is particularly important for those of you on the road who may unknowingly be connecting through less secure means. This means you too, Mr. Allerdyce; if you intend to continue using the system -- and I do encourage you to continue, John -- just be certain you're doing so with utmost precaution. I'm less worried about Magneto's intrusions and more that some bored adolescent cracker will guess your password and leave your journal full of 3's.
I encourage all newcomers to trudge down to the bowels of the mansion and say hello; circumstances have prevented me, of late, from being more sociable, and I apologize. Oh, and if you come, do bring with you a glass of something cold. The heat is making my fur crinkle.