Charlie's gone mad.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

I am assured that the horror I was presented with when I returned to the mansion is not, in fact a bleeding joke.

Well, no, it is, but it's worse than that. Boys and girls, we need to start commital proceedings for both Charlie and Ms. Alison Blaire. It is for their own good, and your saftey, because if we don't get them out of here sharpish, there's no telling what they'll do next.

In the meantime, though, I seem to have been railroaded into the post of student guidance counsellor. I'm still not entirely sure what the job involves, but they tell me I should just draw on my own teenage experiences in order to help guide you poor bastards through life. Accordingly, if anyone wants advice on which brand of glue is best for sniffing, or how to hotwire a car, my door is apparently open. If you have some kind of personal trauma, or just want to bitch about a member of the faculty, or another student, that's good too. I may even stretch to actual advice.

I'll work out some kind of nonsense about office hours later, I'm sure, but in the meantime, should you feel the urgent need for guidance counselling, or whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, feel free to come and find me, and I'll make it up as I go along.

Comments

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

I would like to learn how to hot-wire a car, sir. It seems like it could be a useful skill, and my breaking and entering powers could always use the boost.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

Ask me again when you've got a driving license.

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

There now, see? You're doing just fine. ;)

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

Yes sir.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

Look, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but for christ's sake, stop calling me sir. Pete's fine, or Mister Wisdom if you really must, although I'll probably spend half my time wondering why you're talking to my Dad. The only people that've ever had to call me sir are the squaddies I used to get stuck with on the more horrible jobs I had to do.

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

Er, all right Mr. Wisdom. I'm sorry. I don't think I could call you Pete. I mean, maybe, now that you're a councilor, because I can't call Al "Ms. Blaire", but... it's just wierd.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

_I've_ got a driver's license. And actually, learning how to hotwire a car seems like a sick sort of fun. I know I'm probably ruining my image as the poster boy for wholesome here at the mansion, but...

That and I was wondering if I could chat with you about my incident at the mall. Self-defense and stuff like that.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

I know I'm probably ruining my image as the poster boy for wholesome here at the mansion

Good work, that man. Yes, I will teach you to hotwire a car.

That and I was wondering if I could chat with you about my incident at the mall. Self-defense and stuff like that.

No problem, come hammer on my door when you get a minute. Don't let the decor put you off, it was Blaire's idea.

[x-celsis.livejournal.com]

Oh, excellent. All schools should have a guidance counsellor who has been trained to kill by Her Majesty's Government. It would put a stop to bullying in very short order.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

[x-celsis.livejournal.com]

I only wish I were wicked enough to have thought of it myself. I'll have to keep a closer eye on sweet, innocent Alison.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

Someone should be looking out for her safety, I suppose.

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

It just made such perfect sense. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier!

[x-courier.livejournal.com]

*goes to get the popcorn*

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

*grin*

That's the spirit! ;)

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

Now, there's a thought.

Would sitting down and listening to me go on about my father help allievate some of your concerns, Mister Wisdom Pete? I warn you, it would likely take several hours, but I think the chance to rant would be very liberating.

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

I could rant for hours about my Dad, too. You and I need to sit down and talk, anyway, but I'm not terribly interested in listening to you swear - I already know all the naughty words I need.

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

Just let me know when, and I can find my way to your office so we can talk. Not like I have any plans, really, so just say when.

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

The hotwiring thing is up there, but I already know how to do it. As my guidance counsellor, you're supposed to advise on matters like what university to choose and what course of study to take, but better than that, you could help me find a job that would help me pay for some of all this.

Whee, anyway, taking off soon. See you later!

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

What, isn't McDonalds hiring any more? Isn't that what students traditionally do?

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Can I learn to hotwire a car too? You know just in case lifting it off the ground and moving it that way is every too conspicious?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Darnit, now I wish Grandpa hadn't shown me his five simple tricks for when you lose your car keys. Hotwiring class sounds like it would be fun.

. . . Y'know, the older I get, the more I wonder if Grandpa was working some sort of arcane revenge on my dad for something. I'll have to ask Dad what he was like when he was a kid.

[x-sparky.livejournal.com]

If I put a piece of soap in a sock and use it as a weapon, is it true it doesn't leave any marks on a person?

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

Depends on how easily they bruise. It does result in a nice clean sock, though.