The X-Project

If you ever need any extra people to do hammering high up or anything, I'm willing.

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We might need stuff done on ceilings. You should come by and see. And if we don't need anything you should sit around and talk to me so I'm entertained while I mortar bricks into walls and stuff. A real friend would come distract me. And then she'd get waffles after.

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Minion Number One, meet Minion Number Two. This makes you like siblings.

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I think that makes us like step-siblings. She was my backup waffle girlfriend before you married into the family.

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You'd better not get handsy with Minion Number Two, that's all I'm saying.

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Who said anything about handsy? I said waffles. As in the food. It's not a euphemism.

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You act so innocent. But I'm the benevolent overlord, remember? I know the inner workings of your mind. Also, I was 21 once. I'm pretty sure I know what waffles-the-food means - same thing 'a cup of coffee' used to mean.

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A cup of coffee means more than maybe risking the wrong thing from a possibly sentient coffee machine?

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Back in the olden days, 'do you want a cup of coffee' was the polite person's way of saying, 'wow, you're hot, let's go back to my place.' Essentially. Unless, as Eddie Izzard has made plain, it's the President of Burundi asking if you'd like a cup of coffee. In that case, he's probably just asking if you want some coffee.

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Oh, okay.

Right, because then you've sort of accidentally caused some kind of an international incident. All because he was craving caffeine.

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Exactly! But watch out for Minion Number One. He's crafty and funny and makes good fried chicken. But you're worth more than a stack of waffles, Minion Number Two. Just keep that in mind.

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And he knows the best waffle places in town.

Oh, I'm sure I'll remember that, don't worry.

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x-deadpool.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-03-11 09:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Dear, BO, sometimes waffles are just waffles. And sometimes cute girls have siblings who would kill you so could you stop trying to imply Kurt and Amanda should be threatening me? Kthxbai.

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Dear MN1,

Death by sibling is an honorable way to go.

Best,
BO

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Dear BO, not if I don't deserve it!

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You might deserve it, but as your BO, it's my job to die before you. I'm a traditionalist that way.

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I'll be there soon to see, then. If there's nothing, lots of distractions and waffles--maybe sneaking in a sandwich for you, if you like.

(And, yes, I went "Ooh, waffles!" out loud.)

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You are my favorite. Seriously. FAVORITE. I still owe you a waffle house trip w/stupid hat. haven't forgotten.

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So you'll actually wear it outside and into the Waffle House, then? YES!

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Yes, I will. because I'm pretty sure it'll make you giddy if I do.

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It really, really will, so thank you!

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;)

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You can always duck into a booth into the back and hide under the table if you see someone you don't want seeing you in a waffle hat, too? I won't tell anyone where you are. How's that sound?

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