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Dear Alison,

You are a dead woman. Very dead. Possibly with much gore and stabbing with your own highheeled shoes. Dead dead dead.

I would have made this a private e-mail but I thought it would be best if everyone could start planning for your funeral.

And think, it's perfect timing! We have all those black balloons and streamers left over from Halloween.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must start hunting you down.

Love,
Paige

Postscript: My feet hurt. This is unrelated but really related all at the same time.

Current Mood: predatory

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From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

Now, remember, except for the blinky lights and sound effects that gun-arm doesn't actually work. :)

What'd she do? Other than crowbar you into really uncomfortable-looking shoes that make me really grateful for my Y chromosome?

From:

x-foliate.livejournal.com

Drat.

I really won't say exactly at it's mortifying enough already, but let's just say it involved a camera.

From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

*thinks*

*thinks more*

*lightbulb*

Oh, did she send incriminating pictures of anybody's Halloween costume to anybody who wasn't able to be there because of excuses like being in Maine? :)

Well, hey, I think that's fair. I mean, I got to see the costume, and I'm not really all that attracted to you beyond the whole bit where I'm sixteen and you're cuter than linoleum, so Jono definitely deserves to. I mean, it's not his fault he wasn't here and missed out.

From:

x-foliate.livejournal.com

Yes, yes she did.

Due to recent ... developments in the situation I have decided not to stab her and will instead just raid parts of her closet when she is not looking.

(or at least doesn't have a camera)

And, um, thank you? I think? Sure.

From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

He liked the picture, huh? :)

And, um, yeah, sorry, that was kinda backhanded of me, wasn't it? See, the thing is, it's not that you're not pretty, or nice, or smart, or funny, or anything like that--just that I grew up around pretty, nice, smart, funny farmgirls, so it'd be like being attracted to my cousin, which aren't you from the wrong part of Kentucky for that? ;) So that's what that is.

Well, that and the acute case of oral peditis, like Mom always says. No hard feelings?

From:

x-foliate.livejournal.com

How about I just grin blissfully and hope he never, ever reads this?

No hard feelings. The less incesty thoughts the better, I say. Us farmgirls/boys have clichés to break after all. ;)

From:

x-cypher.livejournal.com

Heh. Oral peditis. Your mom rocks.

From:

x-polarisstar.livejournal.com

I'm sure she deserves it but can I ask that she not be killed in our room? It makes such a mess and I'll never get it out of the carpet.

From:

x-foliate.livejournal.com

Oh, I hear you. Baking soda works wonders, but I'll save you the trouble and head for either outdoors or somewhere with flooring.

From:

x-polarisstar.livejournal.com

You're a gem. Thanks much!

From:

x-dazzler.livejournal.com

Promises, promises!

You do realise I still have that leather outfit, and it's just screaming your name right now?

>:D

From:

x-foliate.livejournal.com

No, that would be me.

Didn't you recognise my angry voice?

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